Being with your brother's or being free
by evelina.nyman.7
Summary: If you got the opportunity to be free and leave your family, would you do it? Raph learned that sometimes you need to be careful with what you say, cause those words might come back to bite you in the shell. Set after 'Slash and destroy.'


Being with your brothers or being free

**A/N: Hi there! I know I uploaded this part yesterday, but for those who haven't read it I want to hear their opinions too. I need a little more opinions then three, so if you would please read this and say what you think. I am here with a new one-shot. First one in a while, and I hope you like it, but first I would like to read this A/N. I have new ideas on making fanfictions based on TMNT and would like to know your opinions on that too. Here is a few ideas, and some I want to try to make into fanfictions, and I would like to know what you think, but mainly the TMNT parts And which one I should do first. 1-6 TMNT stories**

**A re-write on my 'secondary mutation' story.**

**A sequel on 'the winter storm of my brother's heart.'**

**All the turtles, April, Casey and Master Splinter gets captured except Donnie, who has to risk his life to save them**

**A new human turtle story**

**Continue my 'Adventure's in the Milky way' story I planned and deleted.**

**Donnie gets kidnapped by some mutant, who wants him to create the retro-mutagen**

**Okay, that's some idea's. And keep your eyes open for a new chapter and enjoy my new one-shot, based on the latest TMNT episode, Slash and Destroy.**** So with that said, let's get on with the story already. Hope you like it. **

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(Raph's P.O.V)

I couldn't believe what had happened for the last few hours. My beloved little pet turtle had mutated into a murdering machine who wanted to kill my brothers! And it was all my fault everything! It was my fault that the mutagen had gotten near Spike in the beginning. It was my fault he had gotten out in the city. It was my fault that Donnie had a sprained arm and Mikey's was covered in bruises. And now he was gone, on the lose somewhere in the city. And I don't know if I want him to go back to be my pet or if I want him to be a mutant but be, you know better. When we had gotten back to the lair we had told Leo about what had happened after he had left. I told him about how Spike had gotten into the mutagen, Mikey had told him about that Donnie had disappeared, Donnie had said what Slash did and we all filled him in on the rest until he had showed up. To say the least, Leo was pretty shocked afterwards, and Splinter had gone on about how Leo shouldn't have left us to fight Slash on our own, but Leo _had _recovered another mutagen canister before someone got mutated, which was good at least. Yeah, something good had happened this night. Everything else had been pretty bad and gone downhill. My best friend was gone, my younger brothers were hurt and some kind of crazy mutant is running around in the city. I mean, one more than there already is. Along with Spider bites, Snakeweed,*yuck* the Spy Roach, The rat king and, well, you get the idea. And now when Slash was out there, and I knew he had some kind of vendetta against my brothers, we had even more things to worry about. As if it wasn't enough with Karai, the Kraang and the mutagen all over the city. Plus those mutants that all had something they thought was our fault, mainly their mutations. Grr, why can't anything we mutate by accident stay on our side for a change?! It's getting old that they always end up wanting to kill us!

"Raph?" I jumped a little and was thrown out of my thoughts. Mikey and the others were looking at me and I realized they had called my name for a while to get my attention. Was I so deep in my thoughts? I thought that was Donnie's thing. When I thought about that my eyes fell to Donnie's arm, that was in that stupid sling! Donnie saw that and shifted so he would reach me with the other hand, and smacked me on the head, like I did with Mikey sometimes. That made me stop stare, and snapped me out of my thoughts, again. For two seconds I was a little shocked, but then I shot a glare at the attacker, who just looked at me, as calm as the river in the moring.

"Donnie! What was tha-" Before I could finish Donnie put his hand over my mouth and made me shut up. Although I did try to talk and even yell through his hand, but it sounded like nothing but muffled gags.

"Would you just forget about already?! It wasn't your fault Raph! You couldn't have known Spike would end up the way he did after he got mutated. Or that he would even mutate. Okay?!" I stopped to scream into Donnie's hand and threw out the thought of biting him in the hand. I sighed and pushed his hand away and met my family's eyes.

"But it is! I'm the one who told him all the bad thoughts I ever had about you, and that made him go berserk and wanted to kill you so _I _could be free! No one else said those things, I did! And now he's gone!" I jumped up from my seat and went to my room, ignored to voices behind me and I just slammed the door behind me. Then I just let myself fall forward, face first into my pillow and just let out a loud muffled groan. The pillow felt a little damp after breathing into it after only a few minutes, and it got harder to breath as well so I turned around and stared up into the ceiling. I had never realized how my own feelings and thoughts could affect the people around me, or pets for that matter. All those things about my brothers that only Spike had heard, I knew I had always looked past that after a while, but I had never ever wanted something like this to happen to them. Sure Leo would drive me crazy almost every day and his whole 'leader thing' was more than enough to drive anyone crazy with the while thing about fighting with traditional fighting style and all that. And Donnie could bore anyone with his science babble and his hopeless tries to woe April was just so pathetic it was sad. And he _had_ almost blown up Spike, but it wasn't like he wanted to do it, right? He wasn't that kind of guy at all. And Mikey, well, he's in a category all for himself. Annoying is his middle name, but he's still my baby brother and I wouldn't want anything to happen to him. Like when the squirrelanoids tried to drag him down the drain. That was a close one, if we hadn't showed up when we did, he would have been a goner. Yeah, all of them had their flaws and faults and sure they all did annoy the shell out of me sometimes, but I wouldn't want them gone anyway, but Slash didn't want to see that. But it wasn't his fault either, he had only tried to help me being the best I could be. I was the one who filled him with those stupid thoughts about my brothers and now I had to pay the price for those words. I remembered when Donnie said he had talked to the Pulverizer about April, and that I had found it stupid and just weird. But he had done the same thing with the Pulverizer as I had done with Spike. But while Donnie still had the Pulverizer, frozen but still, and I had lost my friend tonight. I guess I had I coming anyway. I was so deep in my head I didn't notice that my eyelids got heavier and heavier and before I could grasp it, the room got black and I fell asleep.

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I woke up again hours later and looked at the time. 5:28 am. I groaned and tried to go back to sleep, but was unsuccessful. After a few minutes of trying I gave up and sat up, leaning against the wall. I took out a comic and tried to read a little to make time go faster. It didn't. I finished the comic ten times in only twenty minutes and closed it when I was reading it again when I got to the half part.

"Ugh, why am I doing this anyway? It's not like it's doing any good anyway." I laid the comic on a shelf. The same shelf where I had seen Spike the last time. Then he was all Slash, and nothing of my little turtle buddy was left in him. I sighed and sat up more straight, swung my legs over the bed and stood up. I made a move to take my mask and put it on, but realized I had slept with it tied around my face, although it hung a little loosely around me face and only the half of my left eye that I could see, the rest was red. I pulled the mask of my face and retied it around my eyes. Then I walked out of my room and into the dojo, which was empty and deserted. In about an hour training would start so it wasn't a hurry, but Splinter's room did lead out into the dojo, so I should try to be quiet. Splinter was a light sleeper. I sat there for a while and jumped a little when I heard a voice behind me.

"...Raph?" Leo. Should have guessed it. It was like he had a sixth sense for things like this. If you were upset, Leo somehow felt it or knew it. I didn't respond immediately, I just sat in front of the tree and bowed my head.

"He's gone." It was the only thing I could think of saying. But Leo understood what I meant and sat down beside me with a comforting look in his eyes.

"Yeah, but he's alive. And he's out there at least..." No, Leo, you don't get it! That wasn't what I meant. But can't blame the guy for trying to comfort me. Anyone who knew me knew I didn't let people too close.

"Slash. Slash is the one that's out there." I clenched my fists tightly and felt the bones in my fingers crack a little because of the force in my hands. But I didn't care. This time I wouldn't conceal my feelings.

"Spike, though. Spike is dead." I felt tears beginning to form in my eyes and at first I tried to blink them away. But I didn't see the use in it so I let them fall.

"My best friend." Leo looked at me sympathetically and wrapped his arms around my neck and pulled close to him. Normally I would never let anyone do that, not even Sensei. But I guess I could make an exception this time. We sat there for a while until we heard Mikey call out that breakfast was ready. Leo looked at me, squeezed me in his arms before standing up and offered me his hand. I looked at his hand, then at him and then smiled and gratefully took his hand as he helped me to my feet. I don't know about before the event with Slash, but now I knew I'd rather be with my brothers than being free. They needed me, and I needed them.

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**A/N: Yay, it's done! I know it's not the best I've done, but I'm not so good at writing in Raph's P.O.V and I hope you will like I anyway. And just so you know I based the ending dialogue on a picture I found on DA. And don't forget to check out the first pages of the comic of my other story, the winter storm of my brother's heart which is on DA too. By agi-nekonin if you wonder who has done it. See you next time, and good night.**


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